Okay, first off, I gotta admit, this midnight writing business is immensely satisfying. It feels nothing short of a cathartic exercise. A lot of what I write, are my own experiences but in the words of my Master, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. Actually, I’m immensely grateful to his consciousness for letting his words flow through me to express the experiences of my being. ‘I’ am too tiny, as a conditioned human, to even find the words to express the understandings and realizations of a prospective that doesn’t belong to the dualistic world of Language. This same dualistic world’s structures & institutions also have a way of conditioning our beliefs about who we are. The conditioning starts with our upbringing, parents & family, then teachers, and friends; further piling on from politics, the governments, the movies, the internet, books and the list goes on. We are actually buried under all these layers of meaninglessness, and who we ‘think’ we are is mostly just conditioning. In truth, who we think we are is not who we really are. Who we really are, others we interact with one on one, can see it in our being but who they see, almost always conflicts with who we think we are, because who we think we are is not who we really are. This creates conflict in our own energies. Who we think we are is that which our mind would like to see us as, based on what it likes & dislikes in terms of qualities. When those likes & dislikes change, (because change is the only constant) our image of ourselves changes too. It is only another image, not the reality. It is the ego – the false sense of identity.
In Vipassna meditation, one of the first things I observed was extremely fascinating to me. When sitting for hours in the lotus position 🧘♀️ especially in deeper states of meditation, various parts of the body start to pain or discomfort arises. The idea is to ‘not move’. All I am to do is to observe the discomfort and be aware of it. A Vipassna meditator is aware that it is the mind (the ego) trying to break the meditation. The mind is against meditation because meditation breaks the ego. A meditator starts to see quickly that he is not the mind. In Viiassna, If I observe the discomfort long enough in awareness, it disappears. When consciousness is aware, is awake, it’s always a loosing battle for the mind, the ego. The mind is not as powerful as consciousness because it is not as humble as consciousness; but it is sometimes too cunning for the childlike innocence of consciousness. Consciousness knows it is nothing, yet it is all there is. So Vipassna shows a meditator that whatever he becomes consciously aware of, does not function properly, and eventually disappears. Truly it is power, but not of the person, of the consciousness. Just like our body’s breathing process, digestive system, heart pumping blood, women’s menstrual cycles, the birthing process; the functionings of the body that are beyond the control of me, the person. It is functioning perfectly because ‘I am not’ there to interfere with it. Live and let live 😊. So in context, whoever we ‘think’ we are, we are not. Whatever we are aware of within ourselves is not functioning at its potential and it cannot. Who we are, we don’t know, and we need not. The ‘I am’ this that and the other will be interfering with the process of our being. Our being is here to express in ways we are un-aware of. That is the beauty of the experience of life. Experiencing the manifested self as a witness. It’s the biggest mystery of life – who am ‘I’ & what am ‘I’ here for? ‘I am not’ who ‘I’ think ‘I’ am and ‘I am not’ here for whatever ‘I’ think ‘I’ am here for. ‘Who I am’ and ‘for what’ is to be revealed to us through the journey itself. There is no destination at all. ‘Who I am’, ‘I am’ right here, right now.
In truth, a journey of self-discovery is not one of ‘who am I’ because we are forever evolving. We cannot know completely ‘who I am’. What remains the same, however, is ‘What am I’ intrinsically. Through a journey of self-discovery, we understand ‘what we are’. Transformation, change is an automatic byproduct of this understanding. The Rebel is naturally born of this transformation, this understanding. If we must ask, let’s ask ourselves ‘what am I’.
It’s harsh living without the idea of a personality but it’s the truth. It is this truth that has not only inspired this post but much more for me, in exploring this gift of words, further. We are all born into a society that wants to control us from the very beginning. The moment a child expresses his uniqueness in some way, he is suppressed and conditioned to conform to the crowd. If he revolts, well that’s it then – that’s the rebel in the family! Most children will conform as they grow older but some will not. These some are the rebellious souls. Their rebellion has continued for lifetimes and they are not rebelling against a crowd, for a crowd. These are individuals rebelling for individuality. These are the adventurous souls and there is no adventure in a crowd. There is no experience in a crowd. An experience is intrinsically individual in nature.
The Rebels don’t fit in the crowd, no ideology seems befitting, their circle is small. They find their own ways of expressing their rebellion but sadly, the rebel is conditioned too. The rebel is also attached to his personality of being a rebel. Some will stop conforming to society and some will revolt. They must express their rebellion because they ‘know’ that they are the rebels. And when they are aware of their rebellious nature, it doesn’t function the way it is supposed to. It doesn’t express the rebellion. What functions at its highest potential, is what we are unaware of within ourselves because it can function uncontrolled by the ‘I’. There is an innocence to not knowing, a humility that moves souls. I mean, where is the experience if we already know? The rebel is grateful for the known & celebrates the unknown. In fact, He blossoms in the unknown.
A non-conformist is not a rebel, and no revolution has ever succeeded. Not conforming to society makes no difference to society whatsoever. Revolutions may have created some noise at the surface but no revolution till date has created any real reform in the deeper structures of society. Change is the only constant but not in a crowd. Change happens in the individual. And that individual can become a catalyst for change in other individuals. In truth, the rebel isn’t even aware that he is a rebel. Others see it but he doesn’t even know it and so his rebellion expresses in ways beyond our understanding and our control. It is beyond his own control & almost always surprises the rebel too. The fate of a true rebel through history unfortunately though, has been assassination 😔. There is no other way to eliminate his rebellion and the change it creates. Society doesn’t accept change. It is not designed to change, it is designed only to control.
The path of a true Rebel, is hard, very hard; but the Rebel totally rejoices in it. He doesn’t know it’s hard, so it’s easy. It’s just an adventure. The Rebel is not a non-conformist, is not a revolutionary. In fact, The Rebel has nothing to do with the old, totally unconcerned, the old has dropped for a higher experience, for an individual adventure. The Rebel has no fight with the old, no fight with anything or anyone at all; the Rebel is only focused on the new – the new Being – The New Man.
He is the individual that is complete on his own, the one who isn’t fearful of walking alone. He is totally into himself and his experiences of the human form; but not from a place of ego, not from a place of hurt or anger or pain; only from a place of adventure. The Rebel’s rebellion is internal, he is not concerned with the outside. His life is meaningful because love & compassion flow through it. He Loves life in all the ways it shows up. Why will he fight? And if he has to, he will love the fight, the adventure. There is no fear, there is no attachment, there is also no aversion. Actually, The Rebel knows nothing of rebellion. The very being of the Rebel is a rebellion for society. The Rebel is at peace. The Rebel sees the ugliness of society, understands the illusions of the world; yet he will ‘be in the world but not of it’** Then society cannot be indifferent to him. He is the change everyone wants to see in the world. The Rebel’s being in the world is a declaration of liberation. A proof of a liberated man in God’s liberated world.
He need not fight But for the new to birth, the old must die. The old is destroyed through the rebel’s being; without anger, without hate, without greed, without jealousy, without pride, without the ego; in a world filled with just that. The Rebel destroys the old just as a ‘matter of fact’. The old must go for the new to come. No anger, no hate, no greed, no jealousy, no pride, NO FIGHT because, in consciousness, in ultimate truth, THE REBEL IS ALREADY THE WINNER.
New Man, New Rebel!
** ‘Be in the World but not of it’
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh in context of The New Man.