The Maroon Rising

meditation

THE VIEW FROM A WINDOW 🪟 

Preface

It is said that we can revisit previously opened windows on our experience of life. And we can look at them anew. When we can share the view with no pain, or attachment to it; we have healed. I couldn’t agree more. This blog post is close to my heart. I’m sharing, as I also revisit, some windows, I opened early in life. These are some windows weve all opened in our basic experience of life. These are the windows that shaped my initial view/perception/understanding of life itself.

The view from the windows I speak about below, is the view I see when I look back into them today. At the time, I experienced the view with ‘them’ (others) in it. Today there’s so little of ‘I’ left, so there is a ‘you’ but no ‘they’. The more the ‘I’, the more the ‘they’The less the ‘I’, the less the ‘you’. ‘I’ & ‘YOU’ = The View. that is today. When there is no ’I’ left, there will be no ’You’ left either. and no View either. only the complete reality – The Truth. So as we get closer to Truth, the same View changes too.

A Window 

Once upon a beautiful time, 
Before all the days of rhyme, 
A mystical window I discovered. 
Never opened, always covered. 

Intrigued & mystified, one fine day,
I opened the inviting window wide. 
It was Godly, shining, ‘Divine’, I say, 
The view from this side. 👌🏻

My sight was drawn to a bright white light,
Emitting from another window in sight. 
There’s other windows in sight alright, 
But none emitting such a divine light. 

It was like ‘they’ never saw the light, 
It was like ‘they’ never had a sight. 
Not the light, ‘they’ saw my glowing face, 
Only then did ‘they’ really, make it a race.  

‘They’ saw me, & then the light, 
There began all the cunning fight.
It became such an ugly sight. 
Now, I was the reason to fight. 🥺

I still wanted to just see the light, 
But For me the window, was shut tight. 
So I shut it too, this window tight, 😡
To be gone, forever outta sight. 

For Many days & many nights, 
There was no noise & no fights.  
Windows remained shut so tight, 
As I was finding my own little light. 

Then one day, I heard a knock, 
On the window, now with a lock. 
With a lock, tick tock, tick tock, 
Over the window, I had hung a clock. 🕚

I looked, and there was the bright white light, 
Shining through the cracks, reaching my sight. 

Fearful to open the window again, 
Remembering all the Un-healed pain,
Yet I opened the window again, 
Hoping this time to avoid the pain. 

Yet again, yet again … 🤦🏻‍♀️

‘They’ saw me & then the light, 
Again, began all the useless fight.
Again, It became an ugly sight. 
Of course, now I too was to fight. 🥺

I still just wanted to see the light, 
But, Only for me, it was fading to night. 
So again, I shut this window tight, 
Why be in sight & yet see no light? 🙄

Then for months, there was no light,
Open window, but not a sight. 
It made me wonder, it made me feel, 
How much the light is asking to heal. 🤔

Was it a mirror on the other side,
Of that window with the bright light? 
Wanting this window opened wide, 
So I can too, mirror … 
Or reflect the light? 

Or was it a mirror on the other side, 
Of that window with the bright light? 
Mirroring a bright white light, from inside, 
For something other than my grateful …
But limited sight? 

Or was there someone on the other side, 
Of that window with the bright light? 
Dimming the bright white light, from inside, 
To protect me from some evil …
Or conditioned sight? 

I see just a window, and just a light, 
But for me it is a very sacred sight. 
I’m the moon, I live in the dark night, 
The ‘Night Lord’ showed me another Light.  

I’d always wished upon a shining star, 
The one I had named after my star. 😊
‘I wish with your cosmic magic one day, 
I open the window, and there’s no ‘they’’ 🙏🏻

Been wanting to open the window again, 
I don’t fear the fighting & all of the pain. 
But I’d rather not be an object in ‘their’ sight, 
I’d rather just be reflecting, only the light. 😊

So, then, after long, magic today I see, 
This window, open can always be. 
From the other windows, ‘they’ cannot see, 
I see the window, & when it’s lit, it sees me 😁

Humbled by the light, not craving a sight
Now that there’s my own little light.
Not as white, not as bright, 
But bright enough for my own sight. 🤩

Now that I, don’t see the ‘they’, 
Now that there’s no un-healed pain, 
Now there’s no ‘I’, waiting to play,
So I open the window again 🤫

#MaPJ



Behind the unopened windows

Behind all the unopened windows on our journey, are experiences we’ve missed to live. In other words, we’ve missed life itself. These windows are opportunities, we’ve missed leaping into, risks we’ve missed experiencing the adventure of. It is doubt & fear that holds us back. The only language of the mind, apart from desire. The aversion to a negative experience, is as self-destructive as attachment to a positive experience. Non-attachment & non-aversion is the middle path, the path less path, the gate less gate, the effortless effort. The path of the non-doer. The Path of Zen & the path of the ‘Geeta’. 

Behind these unopened windows is the unknown! Our fear of the unknown, blocks our experience of the unknown as well. The only ‘doing’ is the opening or the ‘not opening’ of the window. Beyond that is only a reflection of our own perception; no matter which window I open and which I don’t. 

The View 

Once we open any window, we see the beautiful & the ugly. And the beautiful & the ugly will also see us. The world around us, is ‘doing’ so much that not for a moment, ‘they’ stop to experience the beauty around. If ‘they’ did, ‘they’ would see the divine light too. ‘Coz beauty cannot be seen with the body’s eyes, it can only be experienced by the soul. It can be seen by the ‘third eye’, the sixth sense. The rest is superficial beauty.
When I see beauty, ‘I’ feel happy. But when I experience beauty, I am beautiful. When I am beautiful, wherever I am, there is beauty. Every ‘View’ is beautiful. Not the beauty of the conditioned ‘I’ but the beauty of the ‘Light’ of the view falling on me, reflecting my perception of life. The Divine Light. Only a Divine sight can see a divine light. 

Amidst the ‘doing’, those around me, in passing, see me still, just ‘being’, with the ‘glow’ of the ‘light’ on my face. Then ‘they’ see the light. Then ‘they’ desire to take the ‘light’ ‘on the go’. In a ‘to go’ bag 😂. The ‘light’ stays put. When ‘they’ stand there ‘looking’ at me, the ‘light’ is making ‘their’ faces glow too. ‘They’ just can’t see themselves. We just need to ’be’ still a moment and it will reflect on us too. What is reflecting on our face is the light that is inside us. The view is beautiful when ‘I’ has the sight to see the beauty. The view outside, is only a mirror, reflecting back to me, ‘what I am’ inside. What my sight is showing me. So ‘they’ don’t even really exist between ‘I’ and the ‘view’ I wish to see. 

The view is in my Experience 

My View from the window – Nature & The Light

Life is beyond the control of ‘I’. The ‘I’ is too small to experience life. It only ‘does’ to find stimulus outside of itself. Finding the beauty outside to feel beautiful inside. But it’s the inside that reflects outside. Life will show me only that which is required to ‘be’ inside. When we open windows, we see the beautiful and the ugly. Both are there present outside because it is present inside. As we transform the inside, for which we must ‘be’ inside, the outside transforms. As within, so without; as above, so below. 

Essentially the energy for ‘them’ flows outward & outward (& sometimes inward). All ‘doing’ is outward. All! Except meditation, which is a non-doing. A ‘being’. By meditation too, I mean vipassna only. Silent being. No other forms of active or even passive meditations. To control the view outside, our experience of life, the energy only needs to move inward and upward, which it does in vipassna sessions as there is no way for the energy to flow outward. There is no outward flow needed and the energy circles within. The outward is forever changing based on the inward flow of energy. So after ‘opening’ the window, there is no other ‘doing’ that is required. The ‘doing’ happens through the ‘being’ as we flow through the experience of life looking at the view from the opened windows. 

A window to a different view 

How do ‘I’ know the view beyond the window until I open it? I’d like to share some views of windows I opened as a teenager in a co-creative process with the universe. I just didn’t know then ‘why’, and neither did I care. Only because it is during those years that we all ‘choose’ a way of ‘being’, in one of two relationships with ourselves and that is how we start to experience the outside world. 

Either we choose to see ourselves as different or unique from the rest of the world. Or we choose to see the world just as we are, where different and unique is the way it is. Intrinsically, We are all unique manifestations of existence. That is the unchanging truth.
So in the former, we keep searching for somewhere to belong, outside of us. But the thought itself that ‘I am different’, has created a blockage in finding belonging, oneness or communion. The former is a mindset of separation consciousness.  And in the latter we keep fitting in everywhere we go as different, unique individuals. An individual can fit in anywhere because he ain’t searching for belonging. His ‘home’ is him. He is at ‘home’ wherever he goes. A search for Belonging is the biggest symptom of the Human condition. We all want a home, because we’ve forgotten that we are home. It’s just a perspective. A manipulated perspective, muddled 

in the illusion of preferences and choices. 

During these years of choices in building a relationship to self, are initial experiences of two of the most manipulated aspects of the human consciousness, to control ‘them’ like herds. One is ‘their’ relationship to sex and the other is ‘their’ relationship to money (sometimes also referred to as Identity, in the material world). But first …. 

A window to the illusion of freedom 

I was raised in what we call a ‘Joint family’ in India. So three nuclear families under one roof, not so much because of the financial inability to support a nuclear family but more so because of the conditioning of what ‘family’ is really about. Brothers and their families + grandma must live together. And domestics helpers too in a three bedroom apartment. My cousin brothers and myself were growing up together with no separate rooms. So as I was approaching my 13th birthday, my parents and me unanimously decided that it’d be fun to explore life without nagging parents at a boarding school in the Himalayas! 😁. 

I’ve always kinda been one to seek an adventure, so it was a yes to a boarding school. My parents didn’t know much about boarding schools then and so initially for the first 6 months I was in a convent in a tiny little hill station in the Himalayas. Very reputed, but a convent. Let’s just leave it at that for this post. Don’t feel like going into that today.
A convent in itself was very new for me. Completely controlled by the knowledge of the garden of Eden. A window that would remain shut had I not agreed with my parents, just to see what it’s like. What was even more new, was an all girls boarding school. I had migrated from an all girls day school, with a counterpart boys school just across the street. I had cousins and friends who were boys and we were the same age. They went to the counterpart school. I grew up with boys and girls alike, as children. Here, there were only girls and nuns and some wired rules. 

A window to sex

So these rules …. A specific rhythm to clap, a specific way to sit, the way to eat. I remember, we were punished for peeling a banana with our hands and eating it. The peeling, the chopping and the eating, all must be done with a fork and knife only! No hands. Why though, I’ve forever wondered! But yes, I’m grateful to have learnt the art of how to peel a banana with a fork and knife, if I’m ever on gunpoint to do so (or to win a trip to the moon). 🤩

Anyways, at that age, we start to explore freedom amidst rules & sexuality amidst a world where sex is suppressed and thereby used to mind control too. As our bodies grow so do our sexual urges. This place had no boys and of course, the girls were exploring their sexuality with the same sex. My first kiss, my first sexual experience was with a girl. We called it ‘making out’ then. There were no boys around and I too wanted to experience what was being experienced by everyone around me. So I opened that window.
Did I enjoy the view? Well what’s there not to enjoy in an expression of affection towards you? It’s humbling. But that place wasn’t for me. Too many rules for a free bird like me. In 6 months I ran away from school and called my mom from a shop in town. I asked her to come get me Coz I was Cloister phobic in that environment. There was some emotional discomfort after, but everything heals faster at that age. 

Another window to sex 

After that, my parents and me were back on the decision making table. Now, did I wanna go back to a boarding school or stay at home. I didn’t like the stupid rules which made no sense to me, but I did enjoy the freedom and independence I had away from home, to experience life on my own. So I chose once again to go back to a boarding school. This time I landed myself in an even more reputed school, with 60 girls and 700 boys 😁. What fun! 

Here I experienced my second kiss and my second, third and fourth ‘make-out’ experience. This time with boys. Was it different? The way affection was expressed by a girl and boy was different but the affection itself was no dufferent. Essentially they were both glimpses of Love expressed differently. I enjoyed them both but I knew this second time, third, forth time; that the feeling of the warm, heavier hands of a boy on my body and to feel the coarseness of a boys growing facial hair on my face as he kissed me; was taking the experience to a different level for me. It became my preference.
During those years I could’ve chosen either or both, as some others in my friends & family have certainly chosen. I’m grateful I experienced both as early as I did. These experiences allowed me to remain open and non-judgemental towards sexual preferences of individuals, without even realizing it until now. It allowed me to experience so many conversations & some great friendships with the ones who continued to choose the alternate path than the one I had chosen. Learn from them too as I experience my own. To me each one of us is unique in any case. 

A window to Love 

Don’t matter the path, don’t matter the preference; what matters is love. Sex is an expression of love and the lowest at that. It is merely a release. All expression is a release, all ‘doing’ is a release; but it can also become a ‘giving’. Love is ‘giving’. Love is not an expression, it is our true nature that only needs to give. Surely our nature can be expressed in more & higher ways than sex. Devotion for instance. Gratitude. The expressions of love range, as it rises, from desire to prayer. 

Sex is an expression of desire, Surrender is an expression of devotion & communion is an expression of prayer 🙏🏻 Only Desire can be manipulated as it is attached to that which is temporary, our body & mind. Beyond that Love cannot be manipulated because beyond desire, the need of the other is no more to ‘Love’. Then ‘Love’ has risen to a spiritual realm, it has transformed to Divine Love.  

Love is beyond sex 

In both of my experiences, in my choice to sexual preference, and after that, beyond a point, the sexual experiences became boring anyways. 🙄 The need of the body and need of the Soul is totally different. Body needs stimulus, soul needs to give Love. At first, I thought because I was conditionally holding myself back from penetrative sex, I was loosing interest in the experience, not the being.  

‘Going all the way 

as ‘they’ say’

I was stubborn, that I’d only loose my virginity to the man I marry. Back then I associated love with marriage. I lost all my ‘boyfriends’ to my rigidity and lost my virginity to a player, who I didn’t marry. But every cloud has a silver lining. I discovered at loosing my virginity that I’d missed nothing missing penetrative sex. Only the guys were missing out… well … not completely though 🤔. I was giving enough in my expression of desire, just not my flower 🌸 (all the ‘F•R•I•E•N•D•S fans can relate I’m sure ☺️)

Even after going ‘all the way’, it turned boring after a while. But there’s something beyond sex that never bores me. I never left a man I ‘thought’ I loved, until I experienced true love. ‘They’ left me, with glimpses of Love, from the windows I opened. I discovered there was something of Love in me, beyond the sex, very early in life. It took Spiritual Love to break the illusion of the purity of what I thought my Love was. It was only friendship, commitment, loyalty, respect, admiration and a desire to ‘make it work’ in the name of Love.  All desire is of the ego, even the desire of enlightenment. I always had more than sex to give in love. I just wasn’t given the opportunity to express love beyond (worldly) desire, because I didn’t understand my own Love back then. As within, so without. 

A window to True Love 

When true love happened to me, at first, there was no desire for sex, only a need to express and … for the first time, a desire to create something beyond me … a baby. That was a desire too of the woman’s body to express its life force energy, which is essentially released in largest quantities with sex. That is why, sex is spiritual if experienced correctly. We have not been taught spiritual sex, where the need of the body & the soul are one. It is an art and is meditative.

The rising life force energy has a nature only, nothing else, and it is Love & Love is God. Bhagwan has explained the rising of life force energy in his most controversial discourse, available in videos on YouTube (edited of course by OIF) & in a book titled, ‘From Sex to superconsciousness’ (संभोग से समाधि तक). And that is where Tantra comes in, where Love meets meditation. 

My expression of love has been surrender since an early age. My love starts at devotion not desire. Because sex wasn’t as important to me in the expression of Love, I believed that something was wrong with me. I just didn’t know, sex can be transcended, and I very well could have transcended it in a previous life. Now that would be a soul imprint, wouldn’t it? Sex can be transcended through meditation. And if sex turns meditative it can enlighten two beings in an instant. Sex cannot be suppressed, but it can be transcended. And that journey can be an experience with the art of Tantra. 

Love Cannot be Transcended

Sex can be transcended.

But … love cannot be transcended. The thing is A man’s ego wants to be needed by a woman and the Man himself needs her Love. And A woman’s ego wants to get love from a man and the woman herself needs to give her Love. And this unawareness of our own Human Condition keeps us in a constant inner struggle with ourselves. I must know what attracts me, not my ego. 

I’m not attracted to form, I’m attracted to the formless I experience, through the emotional intellect of an individual. Therefore my love cannot be manipulated. As I transcended further with meditation, that desire of a baby too, dropped. Actually I’d say it transformed to something more spiritual. To study the art of Tantra, the teaching of Shiva to Shakti, in an expression of Love. So far I see no Shiva to teach me, I know there must be a Shiva who’s willing to learn together 😊. It is the fastest path I’ve found to raise Love from devotion to prayer, but first Love must be there.

Love is the Bright White Light

Love is not romantic or plutonic as I’ve found. At most it can be karmic or spiritual. Karmic love is not really love, it is a relationship to balance the karma of our outward reality. And spiritual love is true love, it is only a ‘relating’ to evolve on our own soul’s path. Karmic Love ends at desire, it has no interference with spiritual Love. It is not of the spiritual realms, where spiritual Love births & breaths. Spiritual love starts beyond desire, at devotion. It has its own journey, beyond the material and the physical. It is from the beyond. 

Sexual preference doesn’t matter, only Love matters. True love. For instance, my preference is a man’s body (and I know I’ve enjoyed a woman’s body too), and … I fall in love with a man whose feminine expression is strong. A creative man is of strong feminine expression. The expression of the heart. I’m surrendered in Love & yet I love feminine men. 😊 The moment we see a glimpse of Love, regardless of sexual preference, or form; by allowing ourselves to fall deep into love wherever it flows, we can rise high to communion in prayer. Because Love is God. 

Love is divine nature. It is the consciousness behind all there is. In both sexual encounters with a girl & a boy, I had experienced glimpses of love. As they say in spirituality, love is neither homosexual nor heterosexual, it is bi-sexual. Love expressed as sexual preference is a desire, which can flow in any direction, until the heart chakra is transcended. Beyond that the ‘other’ is not physically longed for or needed to express love. Then love is only ‘being’ expressed through gratitude, celebration (together or alone), devotion and prayer (in communion with another or divine). 

From Sex to Superconsciousness

Essentially, homosexuality is an aspect of the human condition which is an expression of an aversion to or an attachment to the same sex. As heterosexuality is to the opposite sex. All preferences are conditioning that don’t hold strong beyond the attachments of the heart. Even the type of body we prefer, is a preference and has nothing to do with the experience itself. Only if I step out of my preference, will I know a new experience. So beyond the heart, the body don’t matter anyways but as love rises beyond desire, which is comprised of conditioning through past experiences only; I’ve seen, preferences also change. Change is the only constant. 

Bhagwan explains this process as well, in relation to the life force energy & love, in his discourse, ‘From Sex to superconsciousness’.

Nature is Divine. Nature is Natural

What was that ‘extra’ with the boy for me? Something about the meeting of the opposites. The hard and the soft, the masculine & the feminine. Something of the balance. The natural surrender that happened in me, how nature had it be. The bodies of men & women are designed the way they are, for a reason. For life to flow and be created.
Penetrative sex is not for the pleasure of the woman. Well ‘they’ seem to enjoy it, but I don’t believe ‘they’; I believe experience only. Penetrative sex is a gift from existence for the man, for his pleasure. For his life force energy (love) to flow & be ‘given’ to life itself. The Divine designed ‘Her’ to give love, as an expression of gratitude by accepting ‘His’ Love, in celebration of life. His love starts at the lowest chakra and reaches the heart over time. Her love starts at the heart and flows to the lowest chakra over time. That is why, it is both true that love happens over time & Love happens at first sight. 

Love finds it’s natural flow & counterpart when it rises beyond desire. And all desire must be experienced to be transcended. That is the beauty of nature and nature is ‘giving’ & nature ain’t constant. It is forever changing. Love is nature. Nature is God. Love is god. 

A window to Work 

At about the same age at 13, my mom, being a ‘karma yogi’ (one on the path of the doer), started conversing with me about what I wanted to ‘do’ in life and how I can prepare for it. I wanted to act, but that I was fearful to tell her. So I came across as someone who didn’t want to ‘do’ anything at all. That was a huge concern for her. So the drilling conversations continued for years until I ‘opened’ another window without telling mom and then told her I was moving to Mumbai to ‘act’. This was 8 years later. 

Before that because I said nothing for all of these years, mom would get me some paid job during my holidays to teach me the importance of work & money. At the time my father was at the peak of his career in sales and was travelling the world, getting me used to a lifestyle of material & luxury brands, which he himself enjoyed. My mom was always the breadwinner of the family. So she was earning equally well if not more. My parents are both fairly financially independent. I didn’t need to ‘earn’ money but she wanted me to learn how to spend it more than earn it. and didn’t want my dad’s modest financial background, to become a reason for my attachment to money and material. She was raised in luxury and worked very hard for a life as such too despite her then circumstances. The ‘They’ on her journey. 

A window to money 

I’m grateful that once again I accepted my mom’s persuasive argument on why I should work at the age of 13, when all of my other affluent friends were not working. But It ‘worked’ really well. That window was a big one that took me no time to figure out. I learnt so early that money can be earned in so many ways. And it is only a means to an experience that I spend it on. It is not the end. I wasn’t attached to it and because it brought me both material and adventurous experiences; I could never be averted to it. 

I am grateful for money when it’s there and I celebrate my gratitude in many ways. When it’s not there, I’m grateful for the humility I experience in its absence. Whether it’s sexual preferences, work, money, a project, a goal or a desire of physical love; What I fear is how I will look to others when I open a window that is only mine to open. Will it be worthwhile opening the window? How will I know unless I open it?


Wishing upon a star – Manifesting Magic

Can I open a window and expect to not see others at all? Just me & the view? That’d be amazing! And then we’d open all the windows. Sounds impossible right? But it’s not. Manifestation is a mystical, cosmic superpower, called a ‘siddhi’, that a meditator discovers on his path. Like everything else, it is a divine gift which is the birth right of each one of us. Siddhis are here to help us proceed further on our soul’s journey to total enlightenment. Transcending all dualities to total freedom & and only pure love. Enlightenment broken down into two words is freedom & love. And Love is Freedom. Enlightenment is also our birth right. 

A Siddhi, It is not meant to become attached to. Once manifestation ‘siddhi’ has served its purpose, a meditator must allow it to drop as well, if he wishes to proceed further into the unknown. To his highest potential. To the most divine experience. Also, regardless of our conditioned ‘view’ and preferences, we are unable to manifest anything of matter, a person, a body, a gender, money, a job etc. we are only able to manifest an unknown experience of how we wish to feel. 

The Gift don’t belong to me 

A ‘Siddhi’ is then essentially a gift. When inspiration (or calling as I call it) is there, before it is dropped, it can be shared. Sharing is giving and giving is the only language of Love. Sometimes Siddhis are a gift to earn a living and sometimes just to share. 

Regardless of a home, a job, a person, a project, a car, a holiday or whatever else I manifest, it doesn’t belong to me. My ego certainly believes it all belongs to it but I know. I know, I’ve manifested it all into my reality for an experience that will push me forward on my own souls evolution. So I don’t fear loosing anything of what I experience. But when I experience it, I experience it so totally with intensity, that when it drops, I don’t miss it. We miss that which we’ve not fully experienced. What we’ve fully experienced, gets boring. Life is a journey of experiences. 

A Siddhi will not always be in our experience. We will transcend experience itself in the journey of the soul’s conscious evolution. 

Transcending experience to experience

Easier said than done though! So a simpler explanation would be to keep it simple 😊. Open the window without any expectation of a beautiful or ugly view, only with gratitude for whatever experience is to come. It is here for a reason. All windows are here for a reason. If we don’t open it in this life, we will in another life. If not in this dimension, then in another dimension. We are not separate from our experience, yet we are not our experience. Once the window is open, there will be the beautiful & the ugly. Both are Only an experience. Only a reflection of the beautiful & the ugly within us. Accepting both the beautiful & the ugly, is to accept ourselves completely. Also it ends the fight against the negative experiences we are fearful to encounter. Being non attached to the beautiful and being non-averse to the ugly. 

Then to ‘be’ still and experience the beauty and become beautiful. To become the experience. We must ‘be’ it to transcend it. As we become more beautiful inside, the ugly will begin to vanish outside. Focusing on the Love not the preference. The experience not the money. Focusing on the mirror, not ‘them’.  Reflecting the beauty, accepting the ugly, and just ‘being’. Wishes do come true, we can see the view we want to see, even a window without others; if we are just willing to ‘be’, non-attached & non-averse. 

Surrender vs Giving up 

I’ve experienced, in small and big manifestations on my journey; that the manifestation happens after surrender. Not ‘giving up’ but surrender. ‘Giving up’ doesn’t bring in manifestation. It brings in nothing. By ‘giving up’, we are cutting off the journey abruptly and the experience comes back in other forms until we learn to surrender. The window can be closed but the view cannot be unseen.
Sometimes we come back lifetimes after lifetimes to repeat the experiences of unlearned lessons, just so that existence can bring us the blessings waiting lifetimes for our experience. Show us windows waiting to be opened for lifetimes at a stretch. 

The ‘doing’, the effort is extremely important. The effort to create all the beauty in the windows we’ve opened. It is the effort, that brings us to a moment when we are ready to give up. Only effort can bring us there. But the soul never gives up. It knows that the experience is here for its own evolution & transcendence. So it surrenders the effort, the ‘doing’ and starts to go with the flow of life. It starts to see the beauty in everything life is showing it.
Soul surrenders easy. It is not a doer. Ego don’t know surrender. We have to teach it. Or allow a master to do so. With surrender, Then we are co-creating. It is only then that manifestation can happen; if not in this lifetime, then in another. If not in this dimension, then in another. But the experience has been created with our ‘doing’ for us to align with it. 

Gratitude before manifestation

All ‘Siddhis’ are beyond the ‘I’. The ego construct, concept, conditioning; call it whatever. The ‘I’ belongs to the same world of death and time. The world of concepts and illusions to control man. The more the ‘I’ dies, the ‘doing’ is dropped; the more ‘siddhis’ are earned. They’re like awards & acknowledgements on our worldly paths. But with an added advantage. Siddhis are here to push us forward on our journey. Only the manifestations that are in alignment with our soul’s journey, actually manifest. Only the Siddhis we need for our soul’s journeys, are earned. It is a co-creative process. 

Channelling meaningless words is also a Siddhi on my experience of life. I’m grateful for words even before I begin to write. It would be wrong to say that I haven’t been writing much lately. I’ve been writing a fair bit but not blogs. I had gotten inspired to write a novel, over 3 months ago but only channelled an inspiring plot some three weeks ago. All my writing is being channelled into the book since. Fiction is hard to write and, ‘technically’, it’s my first.
Apart from that, ‘Bhagwan’ wasn’t joking when he said I was ready to ‘be’ the New me in the world but not of it’. Moving into the post-development & pre-production phase of two projects that are developed to ‘show’ and entertain, with that which I attempt to ‘say’ through thousands of meaningless words. Also producing some content that is very close to my heart – mental health. I’m humbled because I was grateful even before they were ready for my experience! It sounds like a lot of ‘doing’ but really it’s not. I just open a window by saying ‘yes’ to life and then life itself does through me. 

The stories I tell

The thing is, there are so many stories to tell. Different, unique views from different windows of life. But not all will align with my journey. Only the ones that move my soul will align with my journey. Some like to open their own windows, get inspired by their own view and tell a story & some like to see the view from the windows opened by others and tell an inspired story to more others. I enjoy the former, as long as the ‘I’ is still alive some.  

I manifest my View 

All our experiences are our own manifestations. At first, they are unconscious manifestations, then as we become more & more aware, we can consciously manifest our experiences. All these are manifestations of wishes I had at a point on my journey. My teenage experiences were manifestations of experiences that I needed for my journey ahead. To show me much later, where I was on my soul’s evolution. Everything happens as it is supposed to, when it is supposed to. In fact it is always happening. We must align with the happening. At this point, ‘I’ is on a different journey. The journey of its ‘death’ so that I can realize my highest potential. But my gratitude precedes the manifestations. I’m already grateful for the death of the ‘I’, the ego. 

All of these manifestations are in alignment with my soul’s journey, it’s purpose; which is life itself. Which is the reason they are here, and there is no ‘I’ to decide, interfere or manipulate. Only a consciousness, to accept with gratitude, an experience to ‘watch’ that which is to be done through the journey of a non-doer.
Every window, presents an opportunity to find a little more of ‘what I am’ and every window also places me in the sight of ‘others’, exposing me to their judgement. I can only experience the view meant for my individual sight, if I accept that I’m in ‘their’ sight, but that is of no value on my own individual experience of the view of life. If ‘they’ vanish inside, ‘they’ vanish outside. Like magic. It ain’t no magic. It is ‘I’ manifesting the view. When there is no ‘I’, there is no need for manifestation magic. Until then, ‘if it’s to be, it’s up to me’, to open the window. 

Exceptional in my view 

You see, ‘they’ are never at peace, never satisfied. And when ‘they’ see you at peace and happy & glowing, ‘they’ must pull you down to their vibration because life is a competition for ‘them’. So the more you focus on ‘them’ the more you will become ‘them’ too. Then you ‘do’ unto me as ‘they’ ‘do’ unto you. So I choose aloneness over ‘them’ on my journey. ‘They’ don’t exist in my View. It’s a new way of ‘being’ for me. Over the past few years of an inward and upward journey, I’ve lost touch with the outward ‘doing’. But …

‘I’ have opened the window ! 🪟 ‘Coz when there’s no ‘I’ to choose, and no ‘I’ to be manipulated, and no ‘I’ to be misunderstood; all the windows can remain open. My ‘view’ changes with the changing me. What remains unchanged is Love …

And the fact that everyone is different. Each one of us is unique. So unique that it almost seems like Humans were genetically engineered. But. … That is only how nature had it be. Nature’s rule in my view is ‘I am no different, if I’m different’. My view is that each of us is exceptional to our respective ‘they(s)’. 


so …

You may be an exception,

but …An exception only proves the rule

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

What exactly are we celebrating?

What is celebration? 

Celebration is an expression. Much like creativity is an expression of the inner being; celebration is an expression of gratitude. Gratitude for all that life has to offer, the good & the bad, the happy and the sad. Life, much like healing, is not linear. It ain’t a straight line. Life is an experience in waves. The higher I want to reach, the lower I must be willing to fall. Celebration is being grateful for the highs and the lows. Celebrating just the joys of life, is like trying to create the peaks without the valleys. Where there are peaks, there have to be valleys. Together they make a beautiful scenery. 

Celebration is an outward expression of the inner spirit. The spirit is a ‘being’, not a doing. So the spirit cannot celebrate. Only the ‘person’, the ‘I’, the ego can. But what is the ‘person’ celebrating? It is celebrating the spirit’s manifestation of life, in all its forms, with all its waves. I cannot describe the spirit. Can you? Many say the spirit is the vibe of a being but that ain’t true. The spirit is just another name for the soul. The soul is really existence expressing through the manifested being. So it is the vibe of existence, of being.

Existence is everywhere, within everything. In other words, existence is the soul, the spirit. The spirit which manifests not just in us as humans but also in animals and trees and the ocean and the skies. In everything really. When trees sway to the tunes of the winds, they are celebrating together. When the tides of the ocean rise with the pull of the moon, they are celebrating together. Spirit is manifested everywhere and it celebrates everything. The storms and the calms.  

What is Spirituality?

What is spirituality? 

Spirituality is an adventure into the inner world of the spirit, the soul. It is a way of life, a lifestyle, that allows to live authentically through the soul. Spirituality is really a study, a practice, to understand the purpose, the meaning of life; which is life itself. If celebration is an expression of the spirit, then spirituality holds immense meaning & importance in the life of a being. 

More than ever now, we see people on journeys of self-discovery. I’m not sure what exactly they’re looking to discover. There is nothing to discover. Whatever it is that we are looking for, is already there. Yet to find it, seek we must! We keep seeking for our ‘truth’, our authenticity outside. We are willing to walk miles; only to discover more new faces of ‘I’, our ego. The truth, the authenticity is not ‘out there’, but ‘in here’. We just need to remember and a step in the opposite direction does it. A step inward. Just a step and we’ve found it, our authenticity, our truth. 

Truth doesn’t deny outward reality. The outward reality is real but it’s a manifestation of the internal reality. Outside is only one side of the coin. The other side is inside. Spirituality is a journey of accepting and transcending dualities inside. But trust me when I tell ya, they want us stuck in the dualities outside. They’ll do anything to keep us focused on the outside. To be able to look inside, we must quieten the mind chatter, that clouds it. This is only possible with inner silence, with meditation. But they’ve created so many distractions to keep us from silence, the diamond in the Lotus. I tell you, ‘spirituality without meditation, without silence is no spirituality. Celebration without spirituality is no celebration’. So, celebration without meditation is no celebration at all. 

History of spirituality 

Spirituality essentially, is as old as the spirit itself but it came into more prominence as a religious practice from the advent of society. It’s original concept can be found in all organized religion. The idea of a god separate from & outside of the self. Initially, this God was feared. The original God was scary really. He was tough, non-compassionate, judgemental. ‘God fearing’ attitude is what organized religion instilled in people to control them. Unfortunately, religion still subconsciously conditions all humans to be fearful, even if we aren’t religious. 

Then came a revolution called Jesus. He said, ‘God is Love’. He made God soft, compassionate, forgiving, non-judgemental. It changed the whole dynamic between man and God. The very relationship began to undergo a transformation. The attitude began to change from ‘God fearing’ to ‘God Loving’. But this was too threatening for the ones who had controlled people for centuries, on the idea of fearing God. Unfortunately, Jesus was crucified and Christianity was born under the burden of a cross. The largest population of the world is buried under the cross. 

The world has always been controlled by 1% of the population that holds 95% of the world’s abundance, in all its forms. This leaves the remaining 99% of us, struggling in the dark, to sustain & survive. We are constantly in a fight with their own energies, living in an illusion of a happy future dependant on factors outside of ourselves. This is exactly how people are controlled like mindless animals. 

These 1% also control the narratives of all organized religion. Man doesn’t find solace in the world or in religion. So the 60s & 70s saw a significant growth in drug culture, giving birth to the Hippie culture. In many ways, It’s still prevalent, as communities expressed in communities, essentially as a search for freedom together. 

Srila Prabhupada, founder of the International Society of Krishna consciousness (ISKCON) movement

Freedom is always crucified

With more and more people, mostly in the west, searching for freedom in drugs & parties of togetherness, not only were the 1% now controlling the people but also supplying them with another illusion of freedom – drugs & a periphery vision of spirituality. Hippies,  still moved in groups and looked for peace, joy, love & freedom outside of the self. That is when the western world was introduced to the mystics and gurus of the east. Most of these mystics & gurus were enlightened beings, healing others to find true freedom from the controlled herd, and from societal conditionings through meditation.  

The east had always known them but the west now needed them. These mystics and gurus were making people fearless individuals, helping them find the real God. Not outside but inside of the self. They were helping these lost souls to find themselves. They were holding hands and taking them in the opposite direction, a step inward. Mystics revealed, for the first time to the western world, that freedom is in individuality and not in a herd. They were turning people’s pain into power. Amongst the most popular names of such mystics and gurus are, Srila Prabhupada, founder of the ISKCON movement & of course the most dangerous man since Jesus, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, founder of the Osho movement. 

These were the Jesus of the new age and became very threatening for the 1%, the Vatican, the structures of the world. Almost all spiritual mystics, gurus and leaders have ‘mysteriously left their bodies’. Actually they’ve all been murdered, sadly by their own disciples. These particular disciples, when looked at closely, will always be the infiltrators, not the meditators. ‘They’ don’t want you to be free so they let you have an illusion of it. Freedom is always crucified, be it in the form of Jesus, Srila Prabhupada or Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. 

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, founder of the Osho Movement

Science of spirituality  

Spirituality is really the scientific & artistic study of the spirit in relation to the body. To me art and science are the duality of life. The design and the expression. Creativity in one word. But We are conscious to only one body, the physical body. Beyond the physical is the emotional body & beyond that the etheric body and so on, up to 7 layers. The etheric body holds our energy circles, which correspond to spots on the physical body. We call these, chakras. There is also a main energy centre of all chakras, which pulls in energy from everywhere and distributes it to the rest of the etheric body. Much like the heart pumping blood to the rest of the body. 

During the Golden ages, this energy centre was located in its rightful place, 2 inches below the navel. The Japanese call this spot, ‘Hara’. When the energy centre is at the Hara, we feel grounded, balanced & strong on the inside, which manifests outwardly as a grounded, balanced & solid life. The individual cannot be uprooted by anything outside of him. 

During the Middle Ages, this energy centre  moved upward to the heart chakra. Then even war was fought with love. It was all about love. When the energy centre is at the heart, we feel loving & compassionate on the inside, which manifests outwardly as a loving & compassionate life. A life of sharing. We are closest to our soul. Our true nature. 

Currently in the Dark ages, this energy centre has further moved upwards to the mind. This is the danger. The mind pulling energy from everywhere without us even having to do anything. When the energy centre is at the mind, our life is chaotic, confusing, just an illusion because mind is the illusions, the ego, the false. A borrowed idea. This is what the 1% wanted from the start. Feed the illusion, control man. 

Only meditation pushes the energy centre down to the Hara. Takes us from Mind to No-mind. Once we are there, it is forever bliss! 

Surrender ain’t stupid, the ego is

The ego cannot accept anything or anyone higher than itself. It holds the crown at the top and never wants to fall. What is the ego really? It is an identity, a personality, a false face, an illusion created by all of the conditioning we have been subject to since childhood. Parents, family, friends, communities, religion, governments, society etc etc. in simple words it is a borrowed idea of the self. This ‘idea’ of the self is so strong that even the slightest trigger to it, makes us defensive, ready to fight for it. For its survival.  We become conscious of everything around us but ourselves. we don’t watch ourselves.

We keep fighting our own energies, our true nature, our inner being; only to feed an ‘idea’. We keep suppressing our, wants, needs to feed the desires arising from conditioning. Naturally, we are in a major conflict with ourselves. Now that’s stupid, very stupid! Suppression is suicide. The ego is not loving, even to the self. It not pro self. It is only pro ego. The bigger the ego, the harder it is to surrender. The ego cannot even surrender to a higher consciousness who has broken through his own ego, let alone surrendering to God. 

Surrendering is the art of giving a part or all of ourselves to a higher force to show us the way for our highest good and the highest good of all, even if that’s against the ego. Surrender is not giving up. It is the secret behind manifestation, behind co-creating our life with the divine. But the ego sees surrender as giving up. The ego believes it knows best because it is the highest. Even if ego wants freedom, it must find it on its own. It must ‘achieve’. It cannot ask for help. The ego cannot ‘look’ helpless even if the being needs healing. 

The ego is only outward focused. It can only experience with the 5 senses. The sixth sense belongs to the soul, the spirit and therefore can only be accessed through spirituality. True spirituality, I must say. It is ‘Third eye’. So the ones who control, will give you a million different illusions of freedom, of spirituality, of success, of abundance; to keep your sixth sense asleep. They will feed your ego, the false but never the real, the true.

Better is not New 

The world is controlled and influenced by the west. Rather I should say America. And the American way is all about making everything better. Better roads, better homes, better systems, better health, better education, better opportunities; even the better man. The American way is not about the new. It cannot birth ‘The New man’. The new requires the death of the old. The better requires building on the old. And the old is built on a faulty foundation of conditionings. So the better is always ‘bettering’ the faulty. The new requires a demolition of the entire foundation but that will break the illusion no? So they must better the illusion to suit the evolving human consciousness. Communities certainly support in that way. Celebration is one side of the coin, silent meditation is the other. 

Let’s take this into the context of spirituality. The freedom seeking ones, wanting to ‘find’ themselves; over the years have created communities that move together & celebrate  together. Back in the day, they called themselves Hippies and now there are many names. A community of people that meet to celebrate ‘Love & light & life & music & all the good things that sound lovely’. It’s really just a party of Hippies, maybe without the Booze and/or the drugs. But it is celebration. Which is essential. 

They call them spiritual and the world let’s them be. Why? Because they are not a threat. True spirituality is always a threat. If they were spiritual, they’d be done. My commune in Nepal is under constant threats of shut down by the osho international foundation itself; which Swamiji has been fighting for over 30 years. The only reason it’s still alive, is because it’s situated in a spiritually advanced country like Nepal. 

Most of the other communities may find temporary joy in celebration outside of the self. The state of bliss, of being unaffected by peak or valley; but it doesn’t last. That is potential, unrealized. 

Be unique, be irresistible – be an individual

From my heart, I really sympathize with them. They are so lost 😢. Their egos are too big to surrender. Not them. They are trying to find a way. We all are. Some have just always been more awake to it. But they have no one to show them the way. Someone without an ego. The ego must arrive itself! And all they arrive at is another face of the false ‘I’. Spirituality kills the ‘I’ and births the ‘I am not’. These methods are just a temporary relief & worse, another way to suppress that which must be faced. I repeat, suppression is suicide. Freewill is not freedom. Freewill is the freedom to choose. Freedom to choose is not freedom. It is an illusion of freedom. True freedom is the freedom to be choice less. 

True spiritual beings are truly unique. They stand out of the crowd. They’ve found their individuality by walking an inward path alone. They remember, they came alone, they’ll go alone. They are grateful for companionship, for a friend, for company, for a community; but they are more grateful for aloneness. Not lonely, just alone. They cherish their aloneness. celebrate their aloneness. They exude a different kind of energy. One that is totally unapologetic & charismatic; which makes them irresistible to most unawakened and many awakened too. This is a gift, to awaken others by awakening the self. It’s almost impossible to find others like true spiritual beings. 

Spirituality is an individual path with Individual experiences, which are then celebrated together within a communion, not community. Celebration, it is always a celebration of individuals, celebrating their own unique path, with immense gratitude for all that life has to offer. They celebrate the peaks and the valleys with equal enthusiasm, with the same kind of gratitude. In fact you’ll find them more grateful for the lows than the highs. Do you know why? Because they see from higher consciousness, which they’ve arrived at through meditation. They see the 5D plan & the 3D play.  

Spirituality without meditation is no spirituality. Celebration without spirituality is no celebration. So, celebration without meditation is no celebration at all! Are you spiritual? What exactly are you celebrating? 

Original vs 1st copy 

Knowledge without experience,
Is no knowledge at all. 
Creation without vision, 
Is no creation at all.
Prayer without gratitude, 
Is no prayer at all. 
Seeking without devotion, 
Is no seeking at all. 
Surrender without Faith, 
Is no surrender at all. 
Connection without synchronicity, 
Is no connection at all. 
Friendship without purity, 
Is no friendship at all. 
Self love without selflessness, 
Is no self love at all. 
Love without intensity, 
Is no Love at all. 
Celebration without meditation, 
Is no celebration at all. 
Transformation without spirituality. 
Is no transformation at all. 
Evolution without the ego death, 
Is no evolution at all. 
Meditation without silent practice, 
Is no meditation at all. 

And …. 
A Life without knowledge & creation, 
prayer, seeking, surrender & connection, 
Friendship, self love, Love & celebration, 
Transformation, evolution & meditation;
Is no life at all. 


It is not original, meant for eternity; it is only a 1st Copy, not meant to last. 

Tapoban International Commune in Nepal

Original vs 1st copy – Inspiration 

This poem, came as a channeling to me, about a month ago, back at the commune. It was after an hour of Vipasna, at Bhagwan’s samadhi. I read it then and I didn’t fully understand it myself. So I put it away. This morning, I woke up with a clear idea of this post sharing. I knew it was inspiration. So on the first flight I started writing it. I was up early to catch a flight home. And had to meditate an hour before leaving. At the end of the first flight, a damage on one of my suitcases, by the airline, inspired the purpose of this post. It’s meaning. 

Then on the second flight of over 4 hours, I wrote the rest of this post, except this chapter. Which is specifically inspired by what I had learnt of the ego, through my own response to the suitcase situation. When the ego ‘sees’ and it knows that it is the original, it will protect it more. So the ego can surrender but only to the original, the true, the authentic. But ego must see to know and … who will show it. We are all the ego. Only one who has the real, can show the real. 

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh Samadhi, Tapoban International Commune, Nepal

Community is 1st copy, communion is original. 

In a community there is celebration, in a commune celebration is also a meditation. In a community there is Freewill, in a commune there is a freedom. and a master to prune the ego for freedom 🙄. In a community, it is about ‘us’, in a commune, it about the ‘I’. Actually, not ‘I’, it’s about my ‘eye’, not the ‘I’. A community is together, a commune is together in aloneness. A community seeks together. A commune is ‘being’ together. A community without a master, is built to be temporary. A commune with a master, is the way to eternity. 

The one who has experienced the original, don’t really care about the 1st copy. But the original is very expensive. You gotta pay for it with yourself, your whole ‘I’ and be nothing. Only a few can afford it. The 1% are amongst them. They don’t control for themselves. The 1% too have surrendered their ‘I’ to the ‘eye’. They too control for the one they see as ‘God’. Whatever the face, whoever your God, your true God, is who you are. Because you are ‘it’ – you ‘God’. Regardless of what the original looks like, it is original.  It is the ‘eye’. Shiva’s third eye. 

A community is a 1st copy of the original celebration of life, so they let us have it. A commune is the original celebration of Life, so it threatens them. And with this chapter, which I wrote after my evening meditation, connected the poem which I had written a month ago, at the commune. Now I understand it fully.

Back in the early days of my Sanyas, I had asked my master a question, ’how can a commune ensure that there wont be infiltrators and only meditators. I ’see’ ‘He’ has answered it today. It seems we can’t but under a master, they may also be transformed. A commune is not a community of people with the same interest or love for the same. A commune is a communion of very different people, with no similarities, common ground, no point of merging; being alone together, for the common Love of the Divine.
I understand the purpose of this post on the Lunar eclipse – ‘the original life is the most expensive, one must loose it all, to have it all. that is why very few live it. very few can afford it.’

I understand, an Original Life of authentic celebration is dangerous to say the least, it is a complete jump into the unknown, because it is rare. It is about dropping the entire past. It is not for the faint of heart. Never getting too comfortable in one place. Living on the edge of life, ready to celebrate whatever it brings! Ready to fall, ready to rise. ready to live!

Are we living it? What exactly are we celebrating?   

Tapoban International Commune in Nepal

The Watcher is Meditating 🤫

What is Meditation? 

Meditation is an adventure into the unknown. It is the greatest adventure the Human mind can take. Meditation is not a doing, but a being. It is a non-doing. Any activity can be a meditation, but only for a meditative mind. The meditative mind is really a no-mind. There are 112 different methods of meditations. They differ in constitution but the fundamentals remain the same 

There are three basic fundamentals of meditation; relaxation, watching & non- judgement. For meditation to happen, there should be no fight with the mind or the thoughts. Just watching without judgement and being relaxed is the key. Then slowly, with time & practice, a silence descends within the self. Then you are but the ‘I am’ starts to disappear. Meditation has started to happen. Then you are what you will always be, within the body or outside of it; a pure consciousness. A pure space. 

What is NOT meditation? 

In the west, and now being imitated by the east too, we love to create machines, devices etc. Anything that can ‘do’ better than humans can. Anything that can give us an experience without the effort. So yes, we have from hypnosis machines to sleep inducing machines, to created environments, we are told are meditative in nature. 

All of these alternative approaches are not bad but only as a first step. They induce a certain silence within the mind and can induce a sort of sleep in the mind. They provide the first step to meditation, which is relaxation. These are immensely helpful methods to get into a relaxed state. A joy then rises within the self but is not one that lasts. These are temporary methods because these are experiences only, not meditation. Meditation allows for relaxation to last even in the face of stress, pain, fear, suffering. It doesn’t depend on anything outside of the self to remain in a state of bliss. 

Bliss is not a state of constant joy but a state of being unaffected, regardless of joy or sorrow, happiness or sadness. It is a state of inner silence and acceptance of everything as it is. Bliss is a state of consciousness which can be achieved by a ‘yes’ sayer to life. In fact life belongs to the ‘yes’ sayers. ‘Nay sayers’ are, in all honesty, dead. 

A feeling of temporary silence can be created by machines, temporary waves of calm can be created by music, a temporary environment of joy can be created by people. Relaxation for a period of time, can be achieved by alternate methods, but mediation cannot happen. The most important quality of meditation is watchfulness. 

The watcher cannot be created. The watcher can only be located, found, discovered by you; within you. This watcher is the flame that never burns out. It is the inner being that is aware and watching even when you’re in deepest sleep. Nothing outside of you can discover that flame, that watcher. And the quality of watchfulness is a continuous quality of a meditative mind. Or rather I should say ‘a meditative no-mind’ 

Twin Flames & other Spiritual connections 

Twin flames (or you can alternatively call them, spiritual connections) share such a strong connection of an unexplainable, deep, profound Love; which can only be described as magnetic. The reason being that, they are the true polarity of energies. They magnetically attract and repell each other at the same time. They awaken each other to the watcher within themselves. Usually without prior meditation and so it is chaotic. The watcher watches everything, including the ego self. 

The level of awareness that takes over is uncontrollable and the desire to know what is happening within self is what takes counterparts in these connections on a spiritual journey, a spiritual quest. They are here precisely to awaken the other to a journey to the self. The inner self. The flame of awareness, the flame of watchfulness, the inner being is suddenly awakened. That is why these extremely rare connections are called ‘twin flames’.

Masculine & Feminine polarity

The moment we accept the truth that everything is energy, our life begins to transform. All energy; I repeat, ALL energy moves in polarity. The positive & the negative. The masculine & the feminine. Within us and manifested outside of us as well. The masculine polarity of energy is the mind, logic based; it moves in a linear fashion. By that I mean, It moves in a straight line. It denies the opposite and only chooses one. It creates separation of a complete whole. 

The feminine polarity of energy is the life force, it is beyond logical explanations. It moves in a dialectical fashion. By that I mean, it moves in a zig zag way. It moves with the opposite. From positive to negative & negative to positive. It accepts both. It creates integration of the opposites that make up the complete whole. 

This difference in movement of energy polarity is the crux of much of the problems in our inner worlds, reflected in our outer lives and the world at large. The idea is to understand this first and then balance these polarities. 


Balancing the polarities 

The answers to balance the masculine & feminine polarities, can be found in the Japanese Zazen teachings & techniques. Zazen talks about things like ‘The pathless path’ & the ‘Gate-less Gate’. In other words it teaches ‘effortless effort’. Doing anything we do with totality and intensity, but without being attached to the outcome. Then we are doing without being the ‘doer’. The doing is happening but the ‘I’ is missing. What else is that if not meditation? Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh’s Dynamic meditation and other active meditations have been the centre of many debates in the world of meditators but essentially are based on this understanding of ‘effortless effort’. Just like  Zazen, they inspire the dialectical way of life. The integrative way. They teach how to be choice less. 

The Bhagwad Gita also teaches this same thing. When  Krishna says, ‘karm kar, phal ki ichhha mat kar, e insaan!’  He is saying, do the deed but be not the ‘Doer’. Don’t be attached to the outcome. Leave that to existence. In simple words, ‘let it happen through your being’, let it happen through where your life force, your inner feminine energy is taking you. Don’t be the logical mind & constantly push against the tide. The masculine needs to do, but it need not be the doer. Include that which has been denied. The inner parts of you and the outer parts of you. It is in these Zazen & Bhagwad Gita teachings that the answers to balancing twin flame & inner polarity of energies can be found.

Don’t miss the point 

Due to the polarity and for other reasons mentioned above, Twin flames & other spiritual connections experience much turmoil in their inner worlds, which naturally starts to reflect in the outer reality as well. These experiences are not easy at all but these transformational experiences are here to show the counterparts something very profound, very important, most meaningful. They are here to reveal that ‘you are not your experiences’. 

For example, a spiritual connection with another soul, has awakened you to your light or your shadow or both. Whether your twin flame journey has shown you the beauty of good within yourself, or has scared the shit outta you, revealing to you the evil within yourself. Or it has shown you both good & evil within yourself; it is also showing you something else. This something else is what many twin flames keep missing lifetime after lifetime. 

The experience is beautiful, good or evil, it must be enjoyed, it must be experienced. But what you’re failing to see is that you are not your experiences. There is something watching, observing, witnessing these experiences, internally and externally. This something is different from the experience and the experiencer. The one who is watching these experiences, that is the true you. You are the watcher. When the experiencer becomes the experienced, when the watcher becomes the watched, then a third is born. That is the divine. 

Twin flame and other deep spiritual counterpart connections, are not here just to experience a spiritual journey. It is not really about the object of your affection, compassion and love. It is here to un-earth the divine within yourself. And at the risk of being judged, I’ll say it, these connections are here to show you – YOU ARE GOD! 


Meditation – the only solution 

Without meditation, these twin flame & other spiritual connections can become a nightmare forever. Because the mind keeps creating the separation. And in truth, separation is an illusion. Meditation provides the basis on which an understanding of these connections can happen. And understanding is freedom. Freedom from the self most importantly. Freedom from the mind. Essentially when there is a state of no-mind, the inner divine speaks, we call it intuition more commonly. Then it is there, the truth; free from the illusions of the mind. Then despite the pain of separation that the mind creates, there is peace. That is why twin flames are always advised to ‘do the work’. The ‘work’ is meditation. 

With meditation these connections can become an experience from the beyond. It don’t matter then, if you’re with or without the person you love. Then you are Love. Because in essence you are together, on a journey, eternally. ‘You are not your experiences’, it took me almost 5 years on my spiritual journey to awaken to this. I’ve enjoyed the happy and the sad in my spiritual connection with my divine counterpart, but this realization has given me a freedom of another kind. One that allows me to remain in bliss, and be more open to whatever life has to offer; no matter what the outer reality looks like with my counterpart. 

Meditation is playful, non-serious & with no results

As I mentioned earlier in this post, any activity can be meditation for a meditative mind. As long as it is not serious and you’re playful with it. It needs to be enjoyed. Meditation is not a doing. It is a being, a non-doing. It is not serious. Because it looks serious, it has confused many. But I have found so much joy and love in just ‘being’ because it is my natural state. All our natural state. 

The Qualities of mediation are playfulness, joy, fun, celebration. A meditator sees life as a play, a ‘Leela’, precisely because he has found all of these qualities within himself. He cannot be serious. A meditator can be devoted, determined, committed but not serious. He will always be playful. The one who plays in joy and also plays in sorrow.

Meditation, It needs patience. Patiently waiting because hurry causes delays more often than not. The deeper the waiting, the sooner it happens. But not a waiting in sadness, a waiting in Bliss. True love creates this kind of waiting, this ability to eternally wait in bliss. Essentially we are all waiting for the unknown, but in this aspect, I consider twin flames & spiritual connections blessed. The counterparts already have a kind of Love that is needed for soul evolution. 

That is why Bhagwan says, if you are in Love (true love I mean), you can patiently wait, even for lifetimes. That waiting itself has become your meditation. Then there is no need to meditate. Love is all we need, to wait & to meditate. 

True meditators don’t look for results. Mediation is not an achievement. Meditation happens to those who are not goal oriented. Goal orientation, result orientation is of the mind. And meditation has nothing to do with the mind. It is of the being. The mind doesn’t value anything or anyone that comes easily and meditation is easy. One who is not in touch with his inner being and operates from the mind will never value you, especially if you come easily to them. 

That is why so many relationship advisors talk about ‘playing hard to get’. I’ve personally never identified with that phrase. How exactly does one ‘play’ hard to get? 🤔 I go by what I feel as opposed to what I think. How to bring the mind into matters of the heart? I guess, The mind always wants a challenge. It needs to conquer, it needs to achieve. It needs to fight. But meditation is not a fight. It can only be conquered by total surrender, not a fight. 

Conclusion

We are all conditioned to concentrate on what we are ‘doing’ and to ignore the rest. Concentration cannot be divided. But Concentration is a blockage for meditation. We are conditioned to focus too hard. Focus on what we want, Focus on who we are, Focus on what we do; Focus focus focus. But mediation is about watching not focusing. Watching the unfoldment of existence, of connection, of life through our being. 

Meditation is a science and an art. It is also neither of the two. It requires technique, no escaping that. So it can be called a science. It also defies all logic. It is of the heart and not of the mind, so it can be called an art. Meditation is also the greatest mystery there has ever been and so that makes it neither science nor art. It is non-dual dualistic. 

Meditation cannot be taught. It is a happening. Slowly, with practice, we learn what it really is. It is a knack. Really it is. One we can simply master with just a little effortless effort, a little practice. Also with true unconditional Love. Actually Love is Meditation & Meditation is Love.  

With practice, There come moments of awareness and moments of unawareness. Enjoy the awareness, the happiness, the joy, the peaks and enjoy the unawareness, the sadness, the silence, the valleys too. Once you can enjoy both, you will realize you are neither sad, nor happy. You are the watcher. The watcher is free from all happiness and all sadness, all peaks and all valleys. He is above it all. He is just the watcher, The observer. Then one day, the witness. The watcher is free, my friend because … The watcher IS meditating! 

Meditation is the bird with two wings: freedom and love. My effort here in this  Buddhafield is to give you both the wings together. Be loving and be free, be loving and be non possessive. Be free but don’t become cold; remain warm, warm with love 

BHAGWAN SHREE RAJNEESH
Thank you Bhagwan for Dynamic meditation 🙏🏻


 

FREEDOM

I’m inspired! To say something, something about Freedom. This word – Freedom. It pulls me like no other. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been craving Freedom. Even when I didn’t know what Freedom meant. I just love the feeling that comes with this word – Freedom. Freedom. Freedom! 

I was raised with a lot of Freedom. Most say, my parents gave me a bit too much of it. But I wonder, is there anything like too much freedom? And if I was raised with so much freedom, then why was I looking for it all my life? I know now. I wasn’t looking for freedom, I was looking for liberation. You could say it’s the same but there is a small difference in essence, which makes all the difference. But that’s for another day. Today, for the sake of this sharing, I’ll call it Freedom. 

All rebellion, all revolutions, are an act of a need for freedom. We are conditioned to believe that we live in a free world. But this world is anything but a free. So at the soul level, we all crave freedom. Most of us aren’t even aware that almost all of our frustrations arise from this need of freedom because we believe that we are free. It is just a belief, and all belief is conditioning, not reality! 

The thing is we are like ping pong balls between good and evil. We are conditioned to choose between good and evil. To be able to choose is not freedom. True freedom is when we can choose not to choose either and experience both and neither. In reality, in truth rather, there is no good and no evil. They are just two sides of the same coin of duality. And truth is non dual dualistic. We are both good and evil and in that we are neither. If we are both good and evil then we are neither, we are a third kind that hasn’t been given a name, because language comes from the world of duality, not reality. 

Ever since the establishment of society, we have been given a choice. A choice to remain in society or to renounce it. So either choose the path set out by the establishment, government, structure; or the path set out by the God men, priests, pundits. Lemme tell you a secret I found out 🤫. These establishments, governments, structures and God men, priests, pundits; work in collaboration behind the scenes. They are best friends you know. They just look like enemies. It’s an illusion. To keep us confused. To play with us. So we can’t see the reality, the truth; which is only inside of us, not outside. 

Until we know what we are, we can be controlled. Controlled like machines, not even like humans. We can be controlled in the name of good & evil, either by the establishment or the God men. We can revolt, we can rebel, we can do whatever we think will give us freedom. But we are controlled. So how to break out of this control and be free? 

Both of these, the establishment and the God men, control us through our attachment to our egos. By that I don’t mean arrogance. I mean our attachment to our false sense of identity, which has been fed to us by these establishments and God men only. All of our conditioning makes up our egos. All our attachments, goals, desires, identity, personality and so on. When we feel un worthy of the establishment’s idea of success; we run to the God men as an escape. But then they start controlling us through our attachment to escape. There is nothing that can come of escaping. We are essentially only escaping from ourselves and we can’t escape ourselves. Where will we run fro ourselves. It’s an illusion. 

A small story comes to me as I say this. A man renounced all his worldly attachments and went to the Himalayas to seek God. He had heard, if he wants to find God, he must renounce his attachments. So that’s what he did. When he reached his destination, he found all the trees occupied by seekers of God. In meditation they sat. One seeker under one tree. So he found an unoccupied tree, sat under it and started meditating. Suddenly, he felt a smack on his head and opened his eyes to find another seeker screaming at him, ‘get out of here. Go find another tree. This is MY tree.’ 😂. 

Our attachments are what they play us on. So only if we break through our attachment to our false sense of self, the ‘I’, the ‘my’; they can’t control us. Never & not at all. How will they … rather, what will they control? 🤔 

They will be left confused instead 😂. But it’s not easy to break through conditioning. So how to do that? I found one way. Rather, I was shown a way by ‘Him’ who has broken all his conditioning and realized what ‘He’ is. It’s Vipassna meditation. The way of Buddha. Vipassna, coupled with the practice of periodic silence, breaks through these conditionings and attachments. God men are men not Buddha. So they don’t know and don’t let us know either. The silence opens us up to see ‘what’ we really are. And slowly but surely, we start to detach from our minds and bodies. The only way I can describe the experience, is to be able to see ourselves as another entity. The watcher, the witness in us starts to see the personality, the ego, the ‘I’. 

This watcher, this witness is the true self. It is nothing and it is all there is. It’s all of existence. It is oneness, it is union. In fact true self-love is born of this experience. That is why they say, self-love is selfless! Then we are our true self, our authentic self. Then we are Love. And Love is God. Then we are God. God is neither good nor evil, and both good and evil. Then both good and evil is transcended. Such a transcended being can never be controlled. He can be eliminated certainly, but cannot be controlled. And what is the fear in being eliminated? One day we will all meet death. Why not meet it in freedom? And before that, why not be alive and free, instead of being dead and controlled? 


In True Twin Flame connections, the duality of Good & Evil can be seen. In fact, the main purpose, (among other purposes) of these very rare Twin Flame connections, is the transcendence of Good & Evil, through the power of Love. They are two faces of the same coin of duality, so they are essentially one. One is the Good twin & one is the evil twin; where one is light & one is dark; one is Yin & one is Yang. In their union, both Good & Evil are transcended, and they are transformed to a third kind.
This third kind is both Good & Evil, and neither Good nor evil. Good or Evil, they are essentially aspects of the same whole. In their union this third kind is the ‘Divine’ kind. That is why, their union is a Sacred Union. The Divine union. In their union, the template of True Love is seeded and Love, my friend, is Freedom.

Freedom is not in choice. It is in ‘being’ choice less. Freedom is in acceptance only, in experience. So fuck the establishment, fuck the God men. Be choice less and be liberated! Do what the fuck you want and I’ll do what the fuck I want. I just want to celebrate and meditate; just want to dance 💃 

I want to …

Live to see the flower blossom, 

Whatever will be, will be awesome.

MAPJ

What so you want to do?