Who’s your friend, buddy?
A Story of Friendship
I’m sure you’ve heard of the many inspiring stories of friendship between Krishna & Sudama. Today I’d like to introduce you to Sariputra & Maudgalyayana. The latter has a tough name to pronounce. Therefore my spiritual friend, swami Chitananda (sanyas name) and myself, refer to them as the ‘Buddha Brothers’ instead. When we learnt of their deep spiritual friendship, we found many similarities in our friendship connection and so we started calling ourselves the ‘Buddha Brothers’ too 😊.
Anyways, back to the story of the original ‘Buddha Brothers’. They were both disciples of Gautam Buddha. They were so deeply connected. Their love, of course plutonic, was so deep, that if one would experience something in the physical, emotional or even etheric body; the other would immediately know. The other would feel it too. The world of the mystics are often strange to those who look in from the outside. Often deeply connected mystics or meditators don’t even need words to communicate. It is a known fact that the Buddha Brothers were both amongst the most devoted disciples & meditators of Buddha.
There are many beautiful stories of their friendship and connection but the one that touches me the most is of their enlightenment. Sariputra, after years of dedicated practice, had gone home to visit his family. At home, during one of his meditations, he attained enlightenment. Enlightenment is such a force of energy that most human bodies are incapable of staying alive after it is attained. Also, there is nothing more to seek or live for. One knows all there is to know. One becomes merged with existence. There is no need left for the human body. Most will die within hours of enlightenment. But Sariputra survived a whole week. It seems he was waiting for something!
A week after Sariputra was enlightened, back at the ashram of Gautam Buddha, Maudgalyayana also attained enlightenment and within hours, left his body. Immediately, back at home, Sariputra left his body too. What kind of friendship is this? One waits for the other so they can merge with existence together. Can we find friendships like this today?
Friendship today
Today’s friendships are not like the Buddha Brothers because today’s world is not like it was back then. Friendships today are like the world we live in, Superficial! The Human condition is the need to be needed. If we deeply watch ourselves, at some level, we will find that we all have a need to be needed. Healing the Human Condition, ultimately is about healing this need to be needed. Healing is about healing the idea that we need someone or something outside of ourselves to feel worthy.
Today’s friendships are about feeding the false ego, the idea we all have about ourselves. ‘I’ am this that and the other. This whole idea of the self is borrowed from those who have no idea who they are themselves. They also only know their borrowed ideas of themselves. They don’t know their real, their true self. So today’s friendships are based on feeding each other’s false. I invite you to become a watcher, an observer of your friendships. You will find that the moment they find the next best ego booster, they’ll be gone with the wind. If the ego booting friends are still around, it’s because they haven’t found someone else to boost their ego more than you, or the idea of you.
The real first needs detachment from, and ultimately the death of, the false. It’s very rare to find friends who stick around with gratitude, even when their egos are being crushed. A True friend will break the false by triggering the ego. Won’t seem like a friend in that moment but essentially, a true friend is also feeding the real at the same time because he knows his own real. He is ready and accepting of having his ego, his false, be triggered by his true friend. Some people call it ‘tough love’. To find a true friend is very hard because like attracts like. We first must be willing to see our own real, no matter what it looks like, to be able to attract someone who knows their own real.
I’m sure, what I’ve described above, happens everywhere but I happened to see friendships in the glamour & film industry, which have saddened me. So I’ll use that as an example to dive deeper. Film industry friendships are so superficial and needy. Friendships are as superficial as social media photos. In fact many are just for the photos. Not even skin deep. It’s sad but true. They are superficial because most people in the industry are superficial themselves. It’s a world that thrives on ‘who you know’. The masks are so thick that they themselves don’t know where the mask ends and where their own face begins.
Moreover, it’s so easy to fool the asleep. By that I mean the audiences they put up a show for. The heard is asleep. They are the walking dead. A veteran actor of the industry once told me, ‘remember, the world believes what you show them. If you turn a lampshade on its head and call it the ‘in thing’, you’ll find them all blindly doing the same at their homes without even asking why or questioning anything. This is the immense power film creators have and they misuse it to the fullest extent.’ It stuck with me.
Having such a strong influence on the crowds, doesn’t that put a much greater responsibility on our shoulders with what we are showcasing, promoting, not promoting, encouraging, not encouraging? A powerful medium such as cinema, can truly change the world but we are focused on quantity, not quality. Just like it is with our friendships.
Yet, they can’t be blamed, because in the world of only acts and actors, how can we expect to see any truth, any reality? They don’t even see their own truth and if they do, they cover it up, in fear of what ‘others’ may see them as. You could ask, ‘but aren’t you a part of the industry too?’ I’d like to say no. I’m not a part of any herd, any crowd. I’m an individual Coz an individual is free. Although I’ve seen both sides. The Maker’s and the viewer’s. I like to take both those aspects into consideration when making a film.
‘We are in the profession of selling dreams’, as a superstar says. Meaning, ‘we are in the profession of selling illusions.’ And the audience applauds it like words descended from heaven. What rubbish! My master is teaching me otherwise. He is showing me how to use the medium to promote potential instead. Says I’m ready to go back in there and test it out. Let’s see. Anyways, back to the topic …
My friend told me once how she was affected negatively by one of her own best friends, who would post similar pictures with her and her other friends and say the same things. Mugged up lines that sound good and feed the other’s egos. But are ultimately meaningless, with no depth at all. For example, I post a picture with one friend today saying , ‘I love you’ and then tomorrow a similar picture with another friend saying the same thing.
No two connections can feel the same but we don’t even spend enough time to figure out how we really feel about a connection. We need to know ourselves first to know how we feel about another. But We just don’t want to face ourselves, do we? My friend felt that her best friend was not being real with her and that the depth of their friendship was superficial. But of course, it’s a normal thing to do so these days so she never spoke to her about it. In other words she suppressed an emotion. Now that’s something we can see everywhere not just in the film or glamour industry. All our actions are based on the ‘other’. Where are we to be seen in our own lives, in our own stories?
The thing is both people in a friendship are beggars thinking the other is an emperor or empress. Neither can give, because neither have any love to give. They both need from the other. What a pity. We are machines, not human beings. It’s so sad. And I’m tearing up as I pen this down. Human connections have the potential to transform all of humanity but we’d rather revolt against systems & structures than be the change we want to see in the world. We’d rather put the blame on another, the responsibility on another than look at our own selves, our own connections and try to heal them.
Well, that’s the human condition. If you are one who can see through the hideousness that is, I congratulate you. Don’t be frustrated, just rise above it. We can’t fight it or change it. It is what it is. All we can do is rise so much above it, that it doesn’t touch us.
The individual first
I often say, we starve ourselves to feed our egos, only so that others will see us in the way we want them to. And that by the way never happens. They see us how their conditioning allows them to see us. Then one day, we are gone and those others don’t remember for long. Life is wasted.
We hear so many people these days saying, ‘I’m a misfit.’ It sounds cool but the truth is a little different. Actually we are all misfits because we are all unique. Some are just a little more awake to their own uniqueness and that’s an excellent sign for all of human evolution. No crowd can include us completely but we have a need to be needed so we try to hold on so tightly to where we believe we fit in. Sooner than later we realize again, we don’t fit in and then there’s pain again, which we suppress. Do you see the vicious cycle?
A tree grows as high, as deep it’s roots are. The more grounded in the earth a tree is, the higher it grows, the more fruits it bears. And the more fruits it bears, the more it bends to the ground. When trees are planted too close, none develop deep, strong roots so none grow high branches. That is the state of humans. We are too populated and affected by immense thought pollution, we are all overly influenced by others. We’ve lost our individuality.
We are known by the company we keep. It’s bullshit, if you ask me. One should be known for themselves, as we all are unique. This is again the feeding of that herd mentality. Killing the individuality which makes us unique divine beings. As individuals we cannot be controlled. As a herd it’s so easy to be controlled. But we are conditioned to the herd mentality too, no matter how individual we think we are. So yes it becomes important to attract the right company. And to do that we must first learn to be alone without being lonely.
From Aloneness true friendships can happen because then there is no need of the other, no expectation, only a want. And a want is childlike. It is innocent. But to hold the expectation that the want will be fulfilled is the ego. To fear or doubt that we can’t get what we want is also ego. Only aloneness, not loneliness, allows the ability to want without expectation, without fear, without doubt, without neediness. Then true friendships can truly happen. Not is words alone, in reality.
Understanding is all we need to stand alone. Aloneness is strength, it is power. Aloneness, wakes us up to ourselves, our real selves. For the one who is awake, can see motives and reasons behind actions & words of others; can also see motives & reasons behind friendships. I saw it just after one film’s release. It was hard to know why someone wanted to be my friend. Was it Just to be seen with me for who I am in the world or was it just for me?
These days, we find so many people connecting on spiritual ideas. It’s like when the yoga trend first started or the gym trend. That was very good for humanity. But spiritual trend is dangerous. Many call it ‘pseudo spirituality’. It has the ability to do exactly the opposite of what spirituality in fact says. Spirituality is about realizing the spirit. It is about the death of the ‘I’, the death of the ego. But this ‘pseudo spirituality’ is dangerous as more often than not, it is feeding the ‘I’, the ego.
The ‘I’ has nothing to do with truth. It’s very easy to use words like humility, gratitude, love and god. It doesn’t mean there is anything truly divine about it. The one who has tasted even a drop of the divine, seen something of God, cannot be needy for anything of this world. He has tasted what’s beyond this world and is ever ready to allow the ‘I’ to die, no matter how painful it may be. He is only thirsty for the divine. Spiritual growth can truly be practiced and experienced alone because no two spirits have the same blueprint.
All enlightened beings have reminded, ‘we come alone, and we will go alone.’ The door of the temple of God, allows only one at a time. Doesn’t matter who walked all the way with you. You will enter alone. The sooner we accept our aloneness, the sooner we will attract the friends who have accepted their own aloneness. Then it’ll be a joyful ride. 😊
Danger ⛔️
The kind of friends I’ve spoken about above cannot be avoided. They are everywhere. All we can do is be aware, conscious of ourselves and them. But then there are some who pose as friends, but are extremely dangerous. Beware of those friends, in whose company we are encouraged and instigated to act out of our true nature, which is love. Especially, if it ‘looks’ like we are choosing to act out of character ourselves. It’s one of the most known traits of narcissists.
The ones who encourage the idea of instant gratification. Those who bring out our shadows, not to heal, not to look at inwardly; but to project onto the world outwardly. Those who encourage manipulation to control situations & outcomes, often at the cost of our blessing, helping us to self sabotage them. These ones are the promoters of darkness on this planet. They are the influencers. The controllers. The saboteurs. The ones who’s company makes us fall off our paths. Those that keep us intoxicated to remain asleep to our highest potential. The ones who support us in actions that we regret later. These ones are dangerous. They are not friends. They are the agents of the Devil.
The largest number of Devil’s agents are centred around the glamour industry or around famous personalities. They themselves are unaware that demonic forces are working through their insecurities, fears, desires etc. at least one such entity is attached to most famous personalities. Why? Well these famous personalities are the ones that influences the largest number of crowds. That is why we see so much darkness emerging from these spaces. Influencing the darkness in the world.
The Human Design
Back to the individual for a bit here. Have you heard of The Human design? Each one of us has a unique and individual Human design, which are categorized into a few different groups. For this post, I’ll concentrate on one such category, called the ‘Generators’. I am a generator by design and my divine counterpart, is a step ahead; the manifesting generator. A generator design human is one who has the ability to generate energy sources for the evolution and growth of all mankind. The generator has immense amounts of stored energy over lifetimes of soul evolution work which they can use to generate such energy sources.
A manifesting generator, is a step ahead. With minimal effort they have the ability to generate such energy sources. Generators constitute only about 30% of the human population and are generally beings of love. Their success depends on how much of their work benefits mankind at large. They usually find more success in such work as well.
It is however, sad that most such generators have at least one demonic entity or Devil’s agent attached to them. Unless, of course they are aware and conscious enough to read energy and rise above their attachments. The ones who have these dark energies attached to them can be easily spotted for an awakened one. They can see an otherwise sweet face of a generator, develops a certain hardness. Their smiles look put on, their eyes loose shine and depth. Their energy feels confused – one day this and the other day that. No consistency & lack of follow through on their own wishes. Because they are stuck in a fight between themselves and the influence of the demonic entity or energy.
They always seem like they’re trying to be someone, something that doesn’t match their inner being. Demonic entities or devil’s agents usually attach themselves to generator types because that way they can easily ‘attempt’ to restrict the evolution of all mankind. You ask me how do I know all of this? Well, I’m a mystic. Un earthing the mysteries of life are a part of my being. And now I study at what I call a ‘mystery school’. Healing includes healing all sorts of energies. The only way to rid ourselves of such attachments and entities is to rise higher in consciousness.
Meditation is the only answer. Because meditation works not just on the physical body and mind but also goes deeper into all the seven layers of the body and consciousness. The most important being the emotional body and the etheric body. Such demonic entities and energies can only work on the 3D plane. When we raise our consciousness to 4D, 5D and higher; they can’t reach us. Also a protective aura is built around us that cannot be penetrated. So … let them be where they are. There is no need to fight. Just rise above it.
When two beings are in a deep soul connection, energetic or physical, and one is a mediator, the non-meditator does receive some level of protection from the meditator being; but if both can meditate, at least an hour a day, the level of protection is much much stronger. Such beings have a purpose to raise their consciousness for all of mankind and therefore need to protect their energy space IMMENSELY.
Divine Friendships
Only after I embraced fully and started to enjoy my aloneness, many true divine friendships came into my life. The most important of them is my Buddha Brother, swami Chitananda. Most of my divine friends, especially my Buddha Brother, are not on any social media as they are seeker on a deeply spiritual path. In fact my Buddha brother, has helped me limit my social media use. I’m hoping I’ll be able to limit my posting too in the coming times. I admit, social media can be a sort of addiction. One day I sat and unfollowed over 30 people at once just to clear my feed. I wish I had unfollowed all but maybe one day I’ll get there.
I’m so so grateful to my Buddha Brother for this. And I tell you it’s freedom. He has no need to let the world know that he knows me. He has pictures with me but just for himself. With him, It’s so simple that it seems so rare. Simplicity is rare. Truly rare in our world today. My Buddha Brother, also reminded me, I can’t heal or help anyone. I can only support my own healing and help myself. That’s it!
If and when someone, a friend, chooses to take the first step towards awareness, healing & evolution; towards really taking off that mask and seeing their real face, as dark as it may be; towards vertical growth over horizontal growth, I’ll be there all the way. At least as a friend if circumstances don’t allow anything more, ‘Coz the future don’t belong to me. And that first step can be as simple as an acceptance, an acknowledgement, an approach to ask for exactly what they want. Regardless of what their conditioning tells them.
‘Ask and you shall receive’,
Jesus Christ
The first step is just a step in the opposite direction, inward. But before that first step is taken though, I cannot engage. If I do, I will only get pulled back into the hole myself, which I worked so hard to get out of.
Now, I’m waiting. Just waiting to see who arrives first between the two of us, me and my Buddha Brother. The other will reach automatically. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, even if we can’t see it. What a divine gift this is!